Change the story. Change your life. From imagined catastrophes to play-by-play interpretations of others' behavior, we are expert storytellers, quick to fill in the blanks.
Stop Chasing The Why
Unfortunately, all too often our behavior is determined by baseless suspicions, which trigger needless pain. Real life passes us by as we fall for powerful fantasies of our own creation. It doesn't have to be this way. By taking control of our reactions to the people around us, we can learn how to be truly present in our lives as we nurture the relationships that matter most.
Why do we do this? There are many factors that contribute to the way we think such as, our family narratives, media, and past experiences collectively shapes a compelling story line that blind us to reality and wreak havoc on both our personal and professional relationships, How many times have you sent a text or called and not received a response from a friend? And how did you handle it? Many of us go into this overcritical phase that we may have done something wrong, are they mad at me, what did I do. We chase the WHY instead of focusing on the WHAT.
Whats ironic about the what v.s. why is we already know the what (they didn't call or text us back), from there we focus on creating a narrative that doesn't serve our wellbeing — a.k.a. chasing the why.
Focus On The What
The best thing to do when you find yourself chasing the why.
A: Stop and pause — acknowledge how your felling and why.
B: Adjust what is starting to fill in the gaps of the storyline by filling in facts.
C: Reframe your thoughts by asking yourself what is true v.s. fiction.
D: Take the reframed thoughts and start asking what you can do with what you know is to be true.
E: Be honest with yourself and others — you will be surprise yourself when you practice this wellbeing life-enhancing approach to engaging with friends, business associates, and loved ones alike.
Don't waste your life making up stories.
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